Yerlan Ayaz

Zhazira Turdykulova, mother of the deceased Yerlan Ayaz.

The last time I saw my son was on January 2, 2022. We kissed each other and said goodbye. He left. The next day I called and asked him how he got there. He said all was well. I asked him if he had taken the clothes he had taken. He said that everything fits very well on him. That was our last conversation.The next time I called him was on January 6, 2022. I couldn’t find a place for myself. I heard a big rally in Shymkent, and I began to look for my son. I always thought that everything was calm in Shymkent. I called all of his fellow students. But no one saw him.

On January 7, 2022, I went to look for him in the city of Shymkent. My son-in-law went with me. We traveled to all the hospitals. We went to the Karatau district police department. No one found his name on their lists. When we went to Shymkent City Hospital No. 2, we were sent to the morgue. They said that a young man was lying there, he had an iPhone phone with him. My heart began to beat hard, but I couldn’t believe that such a thing was possible. I began to ask God that it would not be my son. My son-in-law told me not to come in and look at the body myself. I sat and looked at my son-in-law’s face. He went out of there in tears. I said he was acting confusing and didn’t find out; it’s not my son. I walked in on my own. There lay my son, all white and cold. I didn’t think I would find my son in the morgue. I was looking for him and thought that was it; I wouldn’t let him go anywhere else. No matter how difficult it is for us. But it didn’t work out.

One bullet hit his body and went through; the second bullet hit him in the head. I didn’t even look at his body. I didn’t even think about it. I was in a state of shock when I saw my son. I couldn’t accept that he was dead. Even when his body was at home, I didn’t examine his body. He was lying down, very white and handsome. I didn’t think he was going to die. I still cry for my son.

“Mom, don’t worry, we’ll buy a house. I’ll finish my studies. Yelnar and I are working; you are working; we will soon buy a house together, do not worry. Then I’ll buy you a car, Mom. I will live in Kokshetau, and I will buy you a house here, mother. And you will come to visit me,” my son told me. I asked if he wanted to live with me. But he always said that he would live in Kokshetau. My son was very calm in character. He didn’t like to talk much. He could say something if you asked him. He was shy and did not like to be the center of attention. He wasn’t a naughty boy at all. Never fought with people. He always told me ‘okay’ and did what I asked. I remember his laughter. I miss my son very much. I love all my kids, but he was special to me. I always think he’s about to arrive. Sometimes I forget everything and think he’s in school. “Yerlan is coming soon,” I think from time to time. But no, he’s not coming again. I’m crying, what else to do. I try not to show tears to my children at home. I don’t want them to say afterward that I’m constantly crying. I try to cry less. I cry at night when I remember him. This is my son. I can’t let him go. Again and again, I remember his jokes, his laughter. Sometimes I feel like I hear his voice as he says to me, “Mom!”

My son was very young; he would have turned 19 on March 12, 2022.

I thought about putting a stone monument over his grave for his birthday. But I couldn’t. During Ramadan, I think about doing it. May he rest in peace; what else can I do for him. I still scold myself for letting my son go then. I should have said not to buy clothes and continue wearing what he has.

My son was in his third year of college. He and his friends had already rented an apartment for themselves. He worked and was independent and didn’t want to burden me. I let him work. I think he went to the rally out of curiosity. I don’t think he went under the bullets intentionally.

The police interrogated me, and I went home. They didn’t tell me anything else. They didn’t say who fired or why they fired. I do not know anything. I want to know who shot my son. But, of course, even if I find out who shot, there’s nothing I can do. But still, I want that person to be punished.

Source

Video